Scripture Reference: Matthew 19:12
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Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com
7 Ways To Date and ‘Stay Saved’ on Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day – the day when most normally celebrate with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates, topped off by a romantic evening which may ultimately lead to the bedroom if the guy is lucky, right? Or so they say.
What’s a Christian couple to do in a culture that promotes promiscuity and the notion that ‘sex sells’ with its many suggestive advertisements and other media?
In other words, how can a Christian couple date and “Stay Saved” on Valentine’s Day?
In my book, How to Date and Stay Saved, I answer this question and also explain how to date God’s way and in His proper order and how it is possible for a couple to meet, date, and enjoy a romantic relationship while not having sex until after he ‘put a ring on it’ and marries you.
Below are 7 ways to date and “Stay Saved” on Valentine’s Day:
1. Date in Public.
Most people aren’t inclined to ‘get their groove on’ in a public place where the public is watching. Dinner and a movie on Valentine’s Day is nice and also romantic.
2. Date to encourage dialogue.
As you date in public, gather information about the person you’re dating. Seek friendship before romance. Constant verbal communication during the date also helps prevent ‘holy hands’ from roaming.
3. Dress modestly.
Valentine’s Day is already set up to be a romantic night on the town, so the flesh is already ready to receive something even before the date begins; ladies, don’t give it any more stimulus such as wearing a low cut blouse exposing the girls or a super tight ‘booty hugging’ skirt. That man is already in a trance about how fine you are so don’t be a stumbling block to him during your date. As much as we love a nice compliment, focus on dressing modestly yet still attractive and stylish.
4. Turn Luther off!
As you and your date converse, there may be music playing in the background, such as during the car ride. Instead of playing “Maxwell” or something else meant to get you in the mood, instead play gospel music such as gospel jazz or praise and worship. Doing this sets the environment and it keeps your mind focused on above. I have a saying: Music is like a ride, it’s meant to take you someplace, so don’t allow the music you listen to during your date take you somewhere you don’t want to go.
5. View each other as brother and sister during your date.
Would you take your sibling home after a night on the town in order to ‘get it on’ like Marvin Gaye? Remember that you’re brothers and sisters in Christ, first, before you will ever be anyone’s spouse or bedroom partner so treat each other accordingly.
6. No ‘late in the midnight hour’ dating at home.
As tempting as it may seem, and no matter how fine he may look especially after he ‘wines and dines you’ (with sparkling apple juice, of course) on your date topped off with a serenade by the lead singer at the restaurant as your date professes his love for you in front of a bunch of strangers, don’t invite that man inside your home afterward, and by all means, don’t go to his place. The night has been too perfect and the holiday is already set to be topped off with a roll in the hay. Instead, after you date in public, once he takes you home kindly thank him for a wonderful night and get inside!
7. If you insist on continuing the date after he has dropped you off at home, call or text.
This way you can still verbally communicate with each other and finish your date, instead of having your date come over and you wake up in the morning regretting what went down the night before.
7 Ways To Thwart God’s Plan for Your Life
As singles, it’s so importance that we stay on track and not lose focus with God’s will and ultimate plan for our lives.
The Following Are 7 Ways To Thwart God’s Plan for Your Life:
1. Complaining. Be mindful not to complain about your present circumstance or present station in life. As Joyce Meyer has said, “Those that complain, remain.” Don’t be like the children of Israel whose complaining and ungrateful attitude caused it to take 40 years for their children (and not the original bunch) to inherit the promise land.
2. Not maintaining a consistent prayer life. We all want God’s plan for our lives, yet if we don’t take the time to seek Him in prayer on a consistent, daily basis then we’re not giving God an opportunity to reveal it to us. Lots of times, with the things of God He reveals in steps, or stages. Every step of obedience is a step closer to your destiny, yet if you haven’t taken the time to hear from Him you won’t know which way to go next.
(Jeremiah 29:13)
3. Losing focus and giving in to distractions. We all have wants and we all have desires. Don’t allow the opposite sex to become a distraction for you, and don’t place his desires over God’s desires. Don’t make him a god over you; know that if the person you’re with doesn’t cause you to grow in your relationship with God and encourage you in your purpose, then he may very well be a distraction. Pray about it; and pray about him.
(Proverbs 3:6; Romans 1:25)
4. Obeying man’s advice and not God’s. Every good idea is not a ‘God’ idea. Folks are full of ideas and opinions, but if it’s not from God, it won’t work. Instead, seek God’s counsel regarding your purpose and the proper steps to take. Man’s counsel should only confirm what God has already placed in your heart concerning you or what He has called you to do. The manufacturer created you with a plan in mind, and only the Creator can tell the creation the purpose for which he was created. (Proverbs 28:26, Proverbs 2:6)
5. Following and being led by “signs.” In other words, you say to yourself, “If this works out then it must be God, if it doesn’t work out this way and in this timeframe then it must not be God.” Whatever God tells you to do, do it and it will work – period. It will prosper and propel you further in your calling. God doesn’t operate on our timetable. If you pray and ask God, not just for the purpose but also the plan, then no matter how long it may take and no matter what obstacles you may bump into along the way, continue forward and continue pressing because in the end your purpose and calling will speak and not lie. (Habakkuk 2:3; John 16:33, Matthew 16:4)
6. Relying on your own wisdom and not God’s. In other words, following your plan for your life and not God’s. God’s plan doesn’t always make sense to the natural eye, but the end result is always worth it. How do you know if your plan is from God? It lines up with God’s Word and promotes God’s agenda which is ultimately kingdom building.
(2 Corinthians 5:7, James 3:17, James 1:5)
7. Sin and disobedience. Walking in sin stops the hand of God on our lives. God knows us more than we know ourselves, and He knows when we’re taking advantage of Him and using His grace as a credit card (i.e. “sin now, repent later”). Thank God that when we miss it, we can call on His grace and He will cleanse us white as snow (1 John 1:9), yet oftentimes sin has natural consequences which may slow down the manifestation of God’s purpose for our lives (such as, again, with the children of Israel) or cause us to produce an Ishmael instead of Isaac (i.e. the substitute instead of the promise). God reveals His secrets to those who reverentially fear Him, not those who willfully and mindfully set out to sin and expect God to bless their mess and manifest their God ordained destiny. (Psalm 25:14)
Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.comWill You Give Him Your All This Year?
Jesus loves you more than anything, and wants to be your every thing.
Sometimes, even as Christians we give God part of our lives, and not all of it.
For instance, if we’re in a jam, need a financial breakthrough or a healing miracle, we’re crying out to God and calling on Him more than we’ve ever done.
Yet when it comes to our relationships with the opposite sex, you can hardly hear a pin drop in heaven as God patiently waits for His child to come to Him in that area as well.
If you’re in a relationship, get into the habit of praying through the relationship, even during normal devotional prayer time, so as to make sure you’re following the peace of God and not your flesh, and not “so-called love” which is actually lust in disguise.
Ask God what He thinks about the person, and how (or whether or not) you should proceed in the relationship. Sometimes God will reveal to you an encouraging word to give to the person you’re dating that will lift him up and set him on the right path (remember, we’re called to be friends, first, so just like you would share an encouraging Word God gives you to your girlfriend, you should also share any encouraging Words God gives to you for the person you’re dating).
Also, while praying to God, don’t ignore any red flags of caution, and, above anything else, stay in constant communication with the Father and He’ll reveal all things in due time. (Luke 12:2)
If you’re not in a relationship (yet 😉 it’s okay to still pray for your husband now, even before he shows up. It’s an act of your faith, as faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, so though you may not have met him yet, or though he may not have presented himself to you yet, you can still pray for him. I pray for my husband now, that God would strengthen and encourage him and that he would grow in his relationship with God.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1
The whole point is, if you haven’t done so already, this year be sure and include God in every aspect of your life, and not just part of it.
Make Him your ultimate prayer partner, and pray to Him about everything.
Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com
Let Time Tell on a Person
While the Bible denotes no set timetable as far as how long a couple should date before marriage, practical wisdom tells us that the more time you spend with someone, the more you are able to get to know the other person for who they really are.
I have talked to many women who claim they didn’t marry the same person they dated, but when you ask them how long they dated before marriage their normal reply is less than six months.
After dating someone a year or longer you should have a more specific idea about the other person’s character.
True relationships, which begin with friendship as the foundation and eventually blossom into becoming each other’s best friend, take time to develop. As the saying goes, “time will tell,” so let time tell on a person.
You need time to get to really know each other in order to pray through the relationship, collect data, be led by the Spirit, and follow peace. You need time to see -should a situation arise where your two may not agree on something or you may be challenged – how your date responds. Does he go into a rage? Or is he calm and considers a matter before responding? Men, if peace is an important factor in choosing a wife, and she goes off on you and on other people seemingly at the drop of a hat, then you may want to ask yourself if this is the type of person you want to have to deal with for the rest of your life. During the relationship, you both want to obey the Word when it says,
Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19
…let the relationship develop naturally, and not based on your own personal timetable (somebody shoot the biological clock! Lol) Sometimes when we do it based on our own timetable, we overlook a lot of flaws about the other person that we shouldn’t overlook because we feel like we’re trying to get to our goal of marriage by a certain age.
Don’t fall into that trap. Like the song says, “Step back and let God do it.”
No matter how old you are right now, no matter how much you may have thought you would have been married with 2.5 kids by now, ladies, don’t get into a rush to marry the first man that comes along and says he’s saved.
Don’t view time as an enemy. Time is your friend. If a person asks to marry you now, and you ask him to wait, then more than likely if he really loves you, he isn’t going anywhere.
The following were mainly excerpts from Chapter 3 of my book, How To Date and Stay Saved.
Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com