When to Apologize

apologizecoupleNo one wants to admit when they’re wrong.

A lot of times, when it comes to interpersonal communication, it is always easier to think that you’re right and everyone else is wrong.

There is a saying that goes, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”



Lord knows I struggled in this area.

Sometimes I can be so task oriented when delegating that I
don’t consider how my words are being received or how the information is being delivered.
For that reason, even though one’s intentions may be pure and in the best interest of
others, the task may be carried out begrudgingly only because the person receiving the
instruction no longer wants to do it.

In the exchange of words, sometimes visions can be lost, or intentions misunderstood.

This is where two of the most powerful words in the universe come into play, “I’m sorry.”

Two simple words -yet how many of us can honestly say we say them enough?

Sometimes, even if we can’t see where we were wrong, it’s healthy to apology just in case your
heart was not heard.

Sometimes, even if you know the other person was wrong and that you
were right, it’s okay to say “I’m sorry,” because a lot of times one wrongs another
because of a perception of a bad intention somewhere along the way.

Apologizing does something for your soul.

It frees your mind, and clears your conscious.

Just in case there was a small crack left open for the enemy to sneak in, an apology
can wipe away the devil’s opportunity to wreak havoc on your life.

The devil doesn’t want you to apologize.

The devil wants you to continuously blame the other person so that you can live with a
grudge and a chip on your shoulder, and not walk in love, which is what God calls all
believers to do with one another.

When you think about it, we receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior simply by saying
those two powerful words: “I’m sorry.” And you know what, Jesus receives our apology
by saying, “I already died on the cross for your sins. You’re forgiven. Now receive Me
into your life.” Jesus forgives, so that means the power to forgive lies within you.
It all starts, though, with those two simple, yet powerful words: “I’m sorry.”


Would You Date Jesus?

Picture this:

A friend of yours sets you up on a blind date. You normally don’t do blind dates, but
since it’s been over six months since you’ve sat across a dinner table with someone of
the male persuasion other than your 11 year-old-nephew, you figure you’d give it a shot.

After doing a final once over in the mirror, the doorbell rings. Not wanting to seem
too anxious, you purposely wait for the second ring before you answer the door.

“Who is it?” you chime.

“It’s me, Jeffrey.” came the reply.

You open the door with a smile and the male figure returns with a bright grin of his own.
Relaxed by the mutual shows of kindness, you take a moment to size him up.

He’s not the finest thing in the world, definitely not a 10, more like a 6. His face is
all fuzzy with a beard that looks like it hadn’t received any attention in weeks.
You wonder why, since this man knew he was going on a date, he didn’t take the time to
even get a haircut? Also, he’s wearing name brand jeans and a striped shirt that looks
totally out of style. Still, you invite him in with a sigh.
You offer him a glass of lemonade, and he gladly accepts.

As you hand him his drink while you and he have a seat on separate chairs, the first thing
out of your mouth is, “So what do you do?”

“I’m an entrepreneur” Jeff says.

“Oh really? What’s your business?” you ask.

“I install carpet.”

“Oh,” you say with a sip of lemonade – not impressed at all.

You cell phone suddenly rings – it’s your mother so you say, “excuse me, I gotta take this,”
and head to the kitchen to take the call.

As soon as you say, “hello,” you mom replies but then the call drops as you realized you
hadn’t charged your cell phone in three days. You ask Jeffrey if you could use his cell
phone because you had something important but brief to tell your mother and Jeffrey
informs you, “I don’t have a cell phone.”

“You don’t have a cell phone?” you ask.

“No.” Jeffrey replies with a smile.

“O-kay” You say while placing your hand underneath your chin thinking, “This man can’t
afford a cell phone or a hair cut? Will I be paying for my own meal tonight, or what?”

Finally, you’ve had it, you decide you’d rather enjoy a night curled up on the couch with
your remote control and David Letterman then the possibility of going out with Jeffrey,
here, who may have you eating at some hole in the wall having to wash dishes afterwards.

You kindly ask Jeffrey to leave.

He obliges with no hesitation and you sigh a huge sigh of relief as you close the door
behind him.

Eighteen months later you get a call from your friend who tried to set you up with
Jeffrey. She says she just returned from an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii where
Jeffrey and his wife, Melinda got married.

She said they’re honeymooning in Spain and plan to live in one of his waterfront
mansions in Jacksonville, Florida. Your friend goes on and on about how Melinda is
madly in love with Jeffrey, how he showers her with love, attention, and affection –
how he is her provider and protector, so loving, kind, forgiving, and giving, and how
he is a man of integrity with a warm heart who has saved hundreds of children from
refugee camps by adopting them and caring for them and providing them all scholarships
from the Jeffrey Christos Foundation, which he founded 10 years ago from proceeds from
his business, JC Carpet Plus, which is the no. 1 carpet installation company in the world.

Dumbfounded, you stare at the phone with your mouth wide open.

“That should have been me in Spain!”

Then you hang up the phone and plop down on your old faithful couch and hide your face in
your hands and cry.

Instead of giving a brotha a chance by opting to get to know him better, as a person,
instead of getting to know his assets, you realize that you just lost out on a date and
a lifetime with Jesus Christ.

For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your
sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.
2 Corinthians 8:9

For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground:
he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we
should desire him.  Isaiah 53:11



Alone But Not Alone

Is it possible to be alone, but not alone? Or alone, but not lonely? Sometimes it seems like every waking day of our lives we, singles, are reminded of the fact that we don’t have a mate; whether it’s walking in the mall observing couples, driving, billboards, magazines, watching couples in church raise their tithe envelope together during offering, hearing it from family or married friends who want to “marry you off,” or even enjoying a movie. Movies like Tyler Perry’s, “Why Did I Get Married?” have some singles in a tizzy
wondering why all the drama, and can I just get married first?

For this issue of The Single Heart, I am led to remind you that it IS possible for one to
be alone, but not lonely. Or alone, but not alone. The word, “alone,” in Webster’s 1828
Edition Dictionary means: single, without the presence of another, and without company.
The word, “lonely” denotes a feeling, and it means: abandoned, forsaken, friendless,
lonely-heart, and lonesome.

According to Genesis, the first man God created was Adam. Before God gave man a wife,
He gave him a job, which was to till the ground and guard and protect it – Gen. 2:15
(which means ladies, if brotha man tries to holla, make sure he at least has a j – o – b!)
God delighted in His fellowship time with His creation, man, who was created in God’s
own image and likeness (Gen. 1:26)

There was no indication that Adam was anywhere sitting at the dock of the bay singing,
“Woe is me. I’m lonely. Nobody knows…” No, Adam was enjoying his time spent in the
presence of God, naming the animals, working on his God-given assignment, and having a
good ‘ole time.

As you read the text, you’ll notice that it was God’s idea to create a help meet for Adam,
and not Adam’s (Gen. 2:18). God presented Adam with his mate, and Adam recognized
who she was. Also notice that God did the presenting, and He knew exactly what Adam
wanted (physical attraction) and needed (help).

God had a plan for mankind. He wanted mankind to multiply so He could have a godly world
full of His children – or those who are called by His name. We all know that when Adam
disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden that that plan was thwarted, but thank God for
sending Jesus, in the form of a second Adam, as our Redeemer! Jesus’ death and
resurrection symbolizes restoration. Our lives have been restored back to fellowship
with God. Not only that, God not only is omnipresent, but He also is in us as
2 Corinthians 6:16 states, “…ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said,
I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall
be my people.”

He also reminds us in His Word:

…I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

…there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

…for thou are with me, thy rod and thy staff comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

For these reasons and more, single believers should never feel lonely, because with Him,
you’re never alone. He is there, all the time, waiting to hear from you. Waiting to
fellowship with you every waking hour. Waiting for you to seek His face because He has
some secrets from His Word that He wants to share. He wants to share His own unique,
divine assignment that He has especially for you (Eph. 2:10, Phil. 1:6).

Whether you’re alone as a result of not having a significant other in your life, never
been married, or having been divorced or widowed – you may be alone, but you’re not alone.
God has been there with you, every step of the way, and He’s still there – loving you,
keeping You, and holding you in His ever loving arms.

3 Ways to Keep Your Joy Tank on Full

(Please note:  This was originally published in the summertime)

It’s summertime and it looks like gas is going up again. Well thank God that He supplies all our need according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus, so that we, His sons and daughters, don’t even have to worry about not having enough money for gas. We can keep our
gas tanks on full! Glo-reh! However, what about that other tank – as single believers, how do we keep our “joy” tank on full?

I mean, it is summertime and we are seeing more couples out and about, enjoying longs
walks hand-in-hand on the beach, in the park, or in the mall. During this time of year
how do we, singles, keep our joy tank on full and not on E?

Well, there are several ways – and I’ll share three.

1.  Serve God, and serve His people.

For example, join a local church which teaches the Word (I always say, “Go where you grow!”)
and sign up to serve in an auxiliary. This way you can have fun pleasing God by serving Him
and blessing His people.

2. If you haven’t figured it out already, pray about your purpose in life and pursue it as
the Spirit leads.

A year after I got saved at 18 I asked God, “Why am I here?” In other words, out of the
billions of people in the world, why did He create me, and what is my divine assignment?
I believe so many people end up confused and in wrong relationships at the wrong times
with the wrong people because they, themselves, do not know their purpose in life, so
they let other outside influences determine who they are. Pray about your purpose, know
that God isn’t withholding that information from you, and receive it by faith. Once you
discover it ask God what He would have you to do right now to start heading in the right
direction, then get to work. You’ll soon discover that it’s fun pursuing the perfect
will of God for your life! Though it can be challenging at times, there’s joy knowing
who you are in Christ, why you were created, and that you’re blessed to be a blessing.
God made each and every one one of us with His very own special, unique purpose in mind.
Discover and pursue yours today!

3. Do what you love as often as you can.

For example, I love music as much as I love books (I also write songs) so at any given
moment you may find me at a gospel concert for one of my favorite artists having a good
‘ole time because I love music, and I love being around God’s people. To me, doing and
being around what I love adds joy to my life, and you can do the same whether it’s a
hobby, an interest, or even spending time with family or having fun hanging out and
laughing with friends.

There is no reason for single, saved believers to be mopin’ around talking about,
“Woe is me, I don’t have a boo.” It’s okay to desire a boo, while patiently waiting with
cheerful expectation knowing that God will bring that desire to pass in due season, but
in the meantime, get yo’ praise on!


Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com