Is Shacking in the Bible?

The term, “shacking,” has been used for decades, and it still regains a big debate within the church, especially among Christian singles and more recently mentioned on the new reality show, the as Deitrick Haddon spoke at dinner with Bishop Ron Gibson regarding him and his fiance’ Dominique.

While most agree that sex before marriage, or fornication, is sin, the Bible actually does specifically mention, or answers the questions: “Is shacking a sin?” and “Is it a sin to shack up?”

  1 Corinthians 7:1 states, Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

 
The word, touch, in this passage of Scripture is translated from the Greek word, haptomai, which means of carnal intercourse with a woman or cohabitation.
Also, the Amplified Bible puts 1 Corinthians 7:1 this way:
Now as to the matters of which you wrote me. It is well [and by that I mean advantageous, expedient, profitable, and wholesome] for a man not to touch a woman [to cohabit with her] but to remain unmarried.
So, in essence, to cohabit means to live together, or… to shack…so…sorry, though many may have tried to justify shackin’ up as “Okay as long as we’re actually not doing it” (when, if you were really honest with yourself you would know that generally those who live together sleep together and are having sex) it’s not acceptable in the sight of God according to His Word.
God places expectations on us to protect us.
Scripture reminds us with the question: Can a man take fire to his bosom and not be burned? (Proverbs 26:7) A man (or woman for that matter) who lives with and sees regularly the person he or she is physically and spiritually attracted to is prone to slip up and have sex. So instead of continuously having sex on Saturday night only to repent at the altar at church on Sunday morning, instead you can walk in freedom by avoiding compromising situations or by avoiding placing yourself in a situation where the flesh can have its way at any time.
Besides, it’s more honorable for both God’s son and daughter to do it the right way and date in public as much as possible to encourage dialogue and collect data to get to know each so you can discover, through prayer, and through the leading of the Holy Spirit, whether or not the person you are consistently and exclusively dating has the potential to be your spouse.
So instead of trying to look for loop holes or ways to walk on that thin tight rope without falling off, let’s continue in God’s will and follow God’s way which only leads to peace, true happiness, healing and lifelong love the way God intended.

Feel free to post your comments below, I’d love to read your thoughts on the matter.

Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com

The Movie Baggage Claim Review

baggageclaimposterSo last night I went to see the movie Baggage Claim which is about a single lady just shy of 30 who attempts to find love in the friendly skies within 30 days so she can beat her younger sister to the altar.

I knew who the main protagonist’s character, Montana Moore, would end up shortly after the movie began.  I laughed at some spots – the funniest was Tia Mowry’s character as the crazy ex.  The movie contained a lot of the elements of your classic romantic comedy – the gay male friend who wants more than anything for his best gal pal to be happy and find love; the loose, sex-crazed girlfriend filled with bad, misleading advice, and the voice of reason who, in this case, was William Wright and ultimately Montana herself.

In spite of the somewhat predictable outcome (that did have a twist in the middle which I appreciated) I greatly enjoyed the movie’s theme:  The magic is not in getting married; it’s in staying married. 

It’s better to marry for love in God’s timing instead of for superficial reasons such as because one’s biological clock is ticking or because of a desire to please others including pressuring parents, or because of a desire to beat someone in a race, such as the race to the altar.

It’s better to wait on the man of God whom God has for you and to have faith and trust in the Lord while waiting; in doing so you may discover your “Mr. Right” may have been there all along.

More Baggage Claim Movie Reviews:

New York Daily News
USA Today
US Magazine

Free Daily Devotional For Single Women:  https://kimontheweb.com/the-single-heart-online-daily-devotional 

 

Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com

Dating and Money

manwithpocketsout
In my latest book, How To Date and Stay Saved, I mention how
the 2 things you need to do at all times while dating is to watch
and pray (Matthew 26:41) 
The word, watch, in the Greek means ‘to observe’ so if you’re
someone who is believing God for a mate who is responsible with
his finances then you want to observe his spending habits.
Does he make frequent trips to the mall to buy the latest
alligator shoes and take you out to five star restaurants every
week which get interrupted by mystery calls from 800 numbers
which more than likely are bill collectors?Does he save his money?Though many agree the money subject in regards
to your own personal finances shouldn’t come up in the
relationship until it has been established that you’re
seriously dating for the purpose of marriage, it’s
okay to have casual conversations about money
along the way and observe how it’s spent.For instance, observing that your date doesn’t tip the
waitress or if he says something like, “I didn’t appreciate 
her attitude so I’m not tipping her,” may indicate
that he’s a cheapskate.

Or, if you mention an expensive restaurant to dine and he
says something like, “Let’s try this other restaurant 
instead, I’m currently saving for a house” may indicate
that he thinks long term, is goal oriented and a saver.

So observe his spending habits while getting your own
financial house in order so that you two can be a blessing
and major asset to one another.

Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com

5 Ways to Prove Love Without Sex

It is possible to let someone know you love him or her without having sex. The following are 5 ways to prove love without sex, or 5 ways to intimacy without sex:

1. Verbally Sharing Your Dreams, Desires and Goals
– dreams that only a few, if any, know about. The word, “intimacy” broken down can be “into – me – see” so it means allowing the person you’re dating to see “into” your mind, “into” your soul, and “into” your heart. Hence, true intimacy without sex.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  Proverbs 31:11

2. Small Acts of Kindness
Doing nice, thoughtful things for one another such as bringing him lunch on the job, giving her a ride to church if her car is in the shop and other consistent small acts of kindness lets the other person know that you truly care for them…being actively engaged in supporting each other’s dreams says, “I love you.”

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. Luke 6:31

3. Love with Your Words
Speaks words of life and encouragement over one another. There’s already enough negativity in the world, be each other’s rock by offering uplifting encouraging words that build up rather than bury the person you love. Words of affirmation such as compliments and encouragement, communicate love. Allow your words to be sweet as a honeycomb.

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

4. Give Each Other Thoughtful Gifts
For example, if a man knows his woman is studying to be a fashion designer and he blesses her with a gift subscription to a popular designer magazine, though it may have only cost him $20 it was the thought that counts and she will appreciate the fact that he pays attention to details about her and supports her interests and dreams.

Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom…  Luke 6:38

5. Spend Quality Time Together
The more time you spend with someone, the more you not only get to know them for who they really are but the more you’re proving that they are truly a priority in your life. Whether it’s being there during the loss or transition of a loved one, accompanying graduations, Awards banquets, weddings and being together on holidays – seeing each other every weekend or every other weekend instead of only once a month – all communicate love – without sex.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.  Proverbs 27:17

…This is my beloved, and this is my friend…  Song of Solomon 5:16

*This was taken from Chapter 7 my self-help book, Download it now for
immediate access to read the rest.

Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com

Tempted? How To Not Be Drawn Away and Enticed

Once you got saved, your spirit man received Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and you became a new creature in Him.

However, though your spirit is saved you still have to deal with that crazy beast known as the flesh.

Scripture admonishes us that once we’re saved we are to renew our minds by constantly reading the Word of God so that we can become more like Him, and crucify our flesh each day by feeding the Spirit. (Romans 12:2,1 Peter 2:2, Galatians 5:16, Galatians 2:20)

It’s important not to give opportunity for that old man, who was led by the flesh to rise up and revert back to its old, sinful nature.

Scripture describes how, when we’re tempted, if we yield to temptation we can be drawn away by our own lust and enticed to sin again.  (James 1:14)

Think about it, from the very beginning when God told Adam and Eve not to eat the forbidden fruit, Eve was tempted by satan’s words, and then Eve looked on that tree and saw how beautiful it was to her and how good the fruit looked that she was enticed.  Because she was enticed, she ate the forbidden fruit and even took it one step further by bringing her husband down with her enticing him to eat the forbidden fruit as well.

We know how the story ends, God finds out about it and after both Adam and Eve tried to play the “blame game” (instead of taking responsibility for their own actions)  and were ultimately thrown out of the garden sent to die spiritually and eventually physically because they gave in to the temptation.  (Genesis 3)

It’s easy to be tempted, especially in today’s society – you can be tempted by stepping outside in warm weather and seeing half naked folks or even turning on the computer.  The key is to not allow the initial temptation, or what satan throws at you, to entice you to the point that you sin.

Our old man, or sinful, flesh nature wants to sin.

We want to give in to our own fleshly, which includes sexual desires, and I don’t know about you, but it’s something about warm weather that gets ex boyfriends to calling lol  But instead of allowing temptation (or that fine, sexy fruit…Lawdhammercy) to entice you to sin…Scripture admonishes us to flee!  (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Don’t let the lust of the old man’s sinful nature draw you away and entice you because when lust conceives, or when it takes a hold of you, it brings forth death, which could include spiritual death (as continued sin is continued separation from God) or even physical death (as the wages of sin is still death Romans 6:23)

So instead of wallowing in sin with the one who causes you to repent at the altar every week, it’s important to get free from that and continue to walk in newness of life by continuing to praise God, fellowship with other believers who will encourage you in your walk, rid yourself of toxic environments and toxic people who could entice you to sin, attend Christian functions and positive, Christian events as much as possible and read the Word and pray every day so that you won’t be enticed to sin and that you won’t be drawn away.

Remain in God’s love and continue to abide in the vine so that your life can go from glory to glory and that you can remain free from the bondage of sin.

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin:  and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.  James 1:14-15 

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  2 Corinthians 5:17 

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. John 15:4

Recommended Reading: , , and

Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com