Some single Christians struggle with the fact that they’re still single. No, I’m not talking about when you’re at church, shouting and praising God along with everybody else, and as soon as someone asks you how you’re doing you say, with a wide smile,
“Blessed and highly favored and empowered to power!”

No, I’m talking about later on that night, when you’re in your house or apartment and you long to hear another voice in the room, so you turn on the T.V. or radio because you want to hear something, anything, besides your own voice speaking to you. I’m talking about as it gets later and later and you check your cell phone to make sure it’s still on and you notice no one has called you all day.

I’m talking about when you lay in bed, staring at the wall, wishing that the pillow you grip was a warm
body to hold – then you roll over on your back and ask God, “Why, Why, WHY Lord am I still single?”
Suddenly feelings of loneliness overtake you as tears roll down your cheeks as you’ve just
accepted the invitation to your very own, first class, pity party.

Know this, single believer, God doesn’t like to see you cry.

He sent Jesus so that you might have joy, and that your joy might be full (John 15:11).
He sees You crying at night, and He longs to hold you in His loving arms and say,
“My child, you are not alone. I AM with you. I AM is here. I will never leave You nor
forsake you. Am I not enough?”

There is nothing wrong with desiring a mate. In fact, Psalm 37:4 lets us know that God
gives us the desires of our heart as we delight ourselves in Him. We can stand on this
Word; however, God doesn’t want our desire to become a want, or a care. The Lord is our
Shepherd; we shall not want. God gives us everything we desire and then some, as He has
freely given us all things to enjoy, and everything that pertains to life and godliness.

So if you experience nights where you cry yourself to sleep, questioning God, and
taking on thoughts such as, “Why am I still single?” “What’s wrong with me?” and
witness others around you getting married left and right and then you say to yourself,
“When is it going to be my turn, Lord?” and “Have you forgotten about me down here,
Lord? Hello! I would like to be married and have a family one day, too!” If you
consistently struggle with such internal turmoil, then this proves that you have
not totally surrendered your desire for a mate over to God.

Instead, you have taken on the care, when God admonishes us to cast our cares on Him – Why?
– because He truly cares for us. He loves us so much that He wants what’s best for us.
He wants us to be happy more than we, ourselves, want to be happy. But He first wants us
to be happy in Him.

He wants to be the source and center of our joy, not someone else.

He wants to bless you with a mate, if you so desire, in His season for your life. He knows
what’s best; you just have to trust Him.

If we truly ask God to order our steps, not necessarily so we can bump into our mates
but so that we can be led by God and fulfill the perfect will of God for our lives,
then we have to trust God that He hears and honors our prayers, and we have to stand
in faith on His Word.

This is not to suggest that we use this “waiting period” to sit idly by. No, we can
use this time to cultivate our relationship with God and pursue the purpose that God
has for our lives, and we can develop the fruits of the spirit within us which make
us become better, more Spirit-led Christians and not flesh-ruled Christians – fruits
of the spirit such as love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
meekness, and temperance, and we can also use this time to develop ourselves not
just spiritually but emotionally, physically, and financially.

Instead of focusing so much on what we can get out of a relationship, we can focus on
what we could bring to a relationship, in order to be a blessing to that other person.

And we can do all these things with joy while enjoying our time with Jesus and our
fellowship with Him and other believers who motivate and encourage us to become the
best we can be in Christ, while still believing God for a mate, and rejoicing with
those who rejoice, such as other brothers and sisters in Christ whom God has
blessed with a mate, or as I like to call it, a permanent boo.

Now repeat this prayer confession out loud:

“Lord, I surrender my desire for a mate to You. I trust that You order my steps, and
that the manifestation of my desire will come to pass in Your season for my life, and
not according to my calculated timetable. I cast this care on You right now, Lord,
because I know that You care for Me, and that You know what’s best for me. I use this
time to grow in my relationship with You, seek Your face daily, and practice the
presence of God in everything I say and do. I present my body as a living sacrifice,
holy and acceptable unto you. I am careful for nothing but in every thing by prayer
and supplication with thanksgiving, I let my requests be made known unto You and You
promise that the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep my heart and
mind through Christ Jesus. So my heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord. You are my
reward, and in You I live, move, and have my being, and in your presence there is joy,
unspeakable joy and full of glory. So I bid goodbye to every pity party in the
Name of Jesus. No longer will I take on that care; I will instead speak to my soul
and encourage my soul to hope thou in God, and I will stand on your Word and walk
by faith and not by sight. More importantly, I desire to do your will and walk in
Your purpose and plan for my life, and I will fulfill my destiny in You,
in Jesus’ Name, Amen!”

Scripture References:
John 15:11 Mark 11:22
Hebrews 13:5 Galatians 5:22-23
Psalm 37:4 Romans 12:1
Psalm 23:1 Philippians 4:6-7
Romans 8:32 Psalm 112:7
1 Peter 5:7 Acts 17:28
Ecclesiastes 3:1 1 Peter 1:8
Romans 12:15 Psalm 42:5
Psalm 119:133 2 Corinthians 5:7
1 John 5:14-15 Jeremiah 29:11


Published by Kim Brooks

A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit

5 replies on “Ever ask, “Lord, Why Am I Still Single?””

  1. Well i certainly know why many of us men are still single today is because now that many women like sleeping around all the time with different men would certainly explain that one, especially for the women that like to party all the time with their girlfriends and get real wasted as well. So how in the world would these type of women be able to commit to only one man anyway? Impossible.

  2. Well for a Good man that really wanted to meet a Good woman to settle down and have a family which i can certainly Blame the women for this one since many Career women that have their high paying job are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very power money hungry since they will only want the Best and will Never settle for Less.

  3. How old is the author here? Some of us are not suffering just a season with this…it is lifelong for some of us. And stop calling legitimate sorrow a pity party..Just. Stop. It. Now.

  4. This post is right on time, im in constant worry about having a life time mate. I want a husband and one that will be a great father for my son. Ive had several pity parties lately and ive felt like God doesn’t have a mate for me. I am actually a minister and ive been struggling in this for some time. I want to find total comfort in the Lord but honestly its been rough. Im 33 and feel like time is getting away. My son is 10 and i lone for him to have a male figure to look up to. I pray that God grows me up and delivers my heart.

  5. Thank you for this post. It was wonderfully encouraging for me in a time of struggle with being single, and not surrendering to God. And I am reluctant to admit, having a pity party. What a great reminder to trust God, that He loves me, and to live my life for God. And about where I place my focus.

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