It’s springtime! Birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and love is in the air.
Couples are walking hand-in-hand, sharing laughs, and creating memories. Folks are breaking out the shorts as men in clean rides try to holla at sisters walking down the street. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle in this so-called season of love, where does this leave the single saint? Left out?
Like Homie the Clown used to say on In Living Color, “I don’t think so!” lol
Let me assure you that this season of singleness for your life, notice I said season (Ecclesiastes 3:1) is actually a gift from God. “A gift?” you might ask, “How is being single a gift?” Well, number 1, it allows you to use this time to please God and serve Him exclusively without distraction.
The Apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:32, But I would have you without carefulness.
He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please
the Lord. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he
may please his wife. A single believer’s main focus should be to please God. The word,
please, in the original Greek means, aresko, which means (through the idea of exciting
emotion) to be agreeable, or to seek to be so. As a single believer, your goal should
be to live a lifestyle agreeable to His will and His Word. In doing so, God will be
pleased and He will bless you because He is Good and Faithful. Whereas, a married
person’s aim should be to please his or her spouse. In the marital covenant,
pleasing your spouse actually pleases God. Once you’re married, it’s no longer
all about you any more, it’s about whether or not your actions and your words please,
edify, encourage, and excite agreeable emotion within your spouse. This isn’t always
an easy task seeing as though now you’re dealing with two entirely different,
imperfect human beings and two entirely different sets of opinions who may not always
agree. Like my pastor always says, marriage is work.
The Apostle Paul goes on to say in I Cor. 7:35 And this I speak for your own profit;
not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may
attend upon the Lord without distraction.
The Word, distraction, in the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary means, “A drawing apart,
separation. Confusion from a multiplicity of objects crowding on the mind and
calling the attention different ways. Confusion on affairs; tumult; disorder.”
God is a God of order.
Anything, or any one in your life who takes your focus away from God and causes your
mind to be cluttered, or any one who has you consistently thinking of ways to please
that other person instead of pleasing God is a distraction, and a hindrance to your
spiritual development. You want whoever you decide to be in a relationship with to
cause you to enhance your relationship with God, and to further propel you to walk
into your purpose and destiny.
God created and designed each and every person with a purpose in mind. Just like
Jeremiah, each person has a divine assignment given by God (Jeremiah 1:5). Those
gifts and talents He has given you are not just for your own profit, but so that
He can be glorified and that others can be blessed.
Another reason this season of singleness is a gift from God is that it allows you
time to pray about and pursue your purpose. Once you know your purpose, and as you
begin to walk in it, you will be able to better recognize the mate that God has for you,
as you discover that the spouse that He has for you will have a compatible calling to
your own -your callings will be in sync, and the two of you will fit together like hand
So instead of moping around feeling sad, bad, and disgusted because you don’t have
someone else to take you out for ice cream, accept this season in your life as a gift
from God and embrace it, live to please Him, and find out what He would have you to do
in life and just do it! Once you do, you’ll be blessed and fulfilled in knowing that
the Father is pleased with your life.
A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit www.KimOnTheWeb.com