A lot of times, ladies, when it comes to the opposite sex, we can get a little caught up in looks.
For instance, if a brotha steps to you and tries to holla, we immediately notice his outward appearance -his looks, his clothes, his haircut, his mustache or beard, or lack thereof. Most women are impressed by a man who packages himself well.
Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a little eye candy, right?
However, single women of God, we must be careful not to be so mesmerized by the way a man looks, or the smooth lines he uses, that we forget to find out the most important characteristic of a man who is worthy of a Christian woman’s time, which is whether or not he has accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior.
A woman can be so impressed by the way a man presents himself, that if she is asked out,
she may not find out if he goes to church, let alone if he is saved, until about the
third or fourth date (if she hasn’t given it up already).
Women of God, it’s time for us to ask these questions up front. I immediately ask any man
who approaches me with interest whether or not he is saved. If he starts acting
nervous in the service, then I view that as a red flag. Most of the time I end up
witnessing to someone like that so he can get saved (Hallelujah!). But we shouldn’t
be afraid to ask.
Why don’t we ask up front? Is it because we’re afraid of the answer? Is it because brotha
man looks so good that you wouldn’t mind being seen out on the town with him on your arm?
Is it because you hadn’t dated in a while and are looking forward to a night of
companionship and a free meal? Or is it because, if you find out he isn’t saved,
then maybe if he dates you a few times, he will eventually get saved?
The Word of God talks about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. It also describes
the importance of two walking together in agreement. One can minister to someone else
and be a light for him, without committing to a relationship with that other person.
We, as Christians, are called to be lights to the world, not a friend or lover of the
Also, it is not enough to find out if a man who is pursuing you is saved. You want to
make sure that he reverentially fears the Lord. Does he worship God?
Do you see him do it? Is his lifestyle conducive to the Word of God, or does he at least
sincerely try to live for Him? The way a man loves God will dictate the way a man will
Love must be vertical first, before it can ever be horizontal.
Sure, he may say he loves you, and he may do nice things for you, but, more importantly,
is what he does for God. Does he love Him? Jesus said if you loved me, you would keep my
commandments. Is he pressuring you to have sex? True love waits, so if a man is
pressuring you, then that means he does not fear God, and that he does not love you,
because true love would not cause you to do anything to hinder your relationship with God.
Ladies, I am not implying that you should ask a man all of these questions on the first
date. In doing so, more than likely he will just tell you want to hear. Instead of
laying all of your cards out on the table, first, find out if he is saved, and next,
observe. Even the Word commands us to watch and pray. See if his salvation profession
is sincere. Only by observing and making sure his actions line up with his words will
you see if a man has the ability to love his future wife the way that Christ loved the
Scripture References: II Corinthians 6:14, Amos 3:3, James 4:4, John 14:15,
Matthew 26:41, Ephesians 5:24
A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit www.KimOnTheWeb.com