A video clip aired recently on ABC Nightline stating that 70% of black women are single and that there are over 1.8 million more black women than black men. It also reports 42% of black women have never been married, and that a large number of them will remain single as there are currently 12 women to every 1 black male.
Upon first reading that report it’s easy to feel disheartened and get in a funk. However, we must remember that based on the billions of people in the world, as you believe God for a mate, remember – You only need one. Also, I want to submit to you, to counteract their report – “Whose report, will you believe?”
Sometimes when you’ve been single for so long you begin to get comfortable in your singleness.
I remember speaking to a wonderful woman of God who was in her early forties and still single saying, “I’ve just given up.” I was crushed listening to her words because, to me, was she not only giving up on ever being married, but she was also giving up on the one thing that we, as believers, should never, under any circumstances, give up on – and that’s hope.
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. Romans 8:25
It’s quite alright to desire marriage, and it’s even okay to believe it can happen for you. However, you don’t want your desire, to turn into an anxious care (Philippians 4:6), or even a want.
The Word of God reminds us in Psalm 23:1, The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
The word, “want,” in this passage of Scripture means, “to fail, want, lessen, (have) lack, make lower, want.” In other words, it indicates that something is missing in one’s life, however with God on your side you already have every thing you could ever need.
Instead of “wanting” a mate, I submit to you that you instead, “expect” a mate.
Expect God’s promise to come to pass in His season for your life since He promised to give you the desire of your heart in Psalm 37:4 as you continue to delight in Him. A lot of times, if you’re seeking the face of God and in His presence in prayer consistently, then it’s He who put the desire for marriage in your heart in the first place.
Expect God to be true to His Word and see yourself that blushing bride on your wedding day, and even, see yourself, now, as that virtuous woman and loving wife who is a crown to her husband who will do him good and not evil all the days of his life (Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 31:12).
Envision and become her now, as you believe God for a mate, and in the meantime become the best you today and use this year to really focus on what God has called you to do and get to know your Heavenly Father even more this year through prayer, praise and worship, and service to Him and His people.
Become as much like Jesus as you can this year – no, not so you can snag a man, but so that God will be pleased with you and so your life will be fulfilled.
Don’t be hopeless, don’t give up on hope – again remain hopeful and stay in a state of expectation that God will do what He said He would do in due season as you really trust, depend on, and rely on Him.
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)
-Hebrews 10:23
Click here to view the much-talked about video clip:
Kim Brooks, author of bestselling novels, She That Findeth, He\'s Fine...But is He Saved? and more. www.kimontheweb.com
Thanks Kim, I really enjoy reading and receiving your newsletters. I am encourage by your words of wisdom. I do believe that he who findth a wife obtains favor of the Lord. I believe my husband is out there for me, I made a request before the Lord and I am waiting on him.. I do believe the report of the Lord. May God continue to bless your ministry tremendously. Peace& Love
I really enjoy receiving your newsletters. Thank you for being a positive, uplifting woman of GOD. I believe it is important to encourage each other in the gospel. It gets hard sometimes, but I am walking by faith and not by sight!! Keep on!! and I look forward to your new book.
I believe that waiting is like the person that approaches your table at a restaurant, yes, a waiter. This is what God expects us to do when we are truly ‘expecting’ His best for us as single women. While we are ‘waiting and expecting’ we must begin to ‘serve’ Him with our gifts and talents to the dying (those that are lost). Learn a new art, go back to school, finish school, join an auxillary in your church, volunteer in your community, but don’t just sit around thinking that since God created this desire in your heart for a mate that you’re supposed to sit around and actually whine that Mr. Fine-Tall-and-Handsome hasn’t come yet. The question is, are you really ready, Ready for what? ready to begin sharing your history with HIS-story. Are you ready to start cleaning and cooking and tending to someone else’s needs beside your own? Are you ready to be told, ‘Sweetie, I don’t think you should go on that trip with your girlfriends’, or ‘No, I don’t think we should be purchasing that right now’ Ladies, this is the time to lose those extra pounds, start eating right, pay off all that credit on those (3) credit reports, and mainly study to be quiet in the sight of God and Man. Think about it.
Thank you so much for posting this. I was so tired of hearing the wordly reviews on this NBC special. It feels good to hear a Christians review to the NBC special. Have Faith & trust God and He will give you the desires of your heart. Also, women need to remember your husband will find you. So don’t go out there looking for him. Thx and God Bless!
thx Kim….this gave me just a little more hope. May God continue to use you as a instrument of praise!!!!
I enjoyed newsletter.
Thanks Kim. I love your newsletter. You are always So encouraging. Keep it coming dear.