Some people think their lives would be so much better if only they had a spouse.
Some feel like if they only had a spouse, they would be much happier, life would be much sweeter, and there would be more reason to live and move on.
Some think that if only they had a spouse, all of their worries and cares would seemingly disappear
emotional distress would disappear because now they have someone they can call their own and be there as a shoulder to cry on, loneliness would disappear because now they have someone to come home to, financial worries would disappear because there would be more than just one household income, and physical needs would be met because the now have someone to have sex with on a regular basis, and have it be sanctioned by God.
For these reasons and maybe even more, some people get stuck in a rut, day in and day
out, wondering where is their mate, and why has God seemingly forgotten or forsaken
them in this area.
Sometimes it can feel as if maybe God is punishing you by not giving you a spouse, or
that he has deemed you not worthy enough to have one.
It has been said before but it bears repeating, as a single saint, right now, you must
learn to be content during this season of singleness in your life. You must practice
The apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11, Not that I speak in respect of want:
for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
The Word content in this passage of Scripture in the original Greek translated to
English means, self-complacent, or self-satisfying.
As a single saint, you have to learn how to be satisfied with yourself.
You have to learn how to be satisfied with keeping your own self company, and
enjoying time with just you and God, instead of coming home from a hard days
work and immediately turning on the television because you feel a need to hear
background noise so you won’t feel all alone.
The word content in Webster’s Dictionary, 1828 Edition, means, rest or quietness of
the mind in the present condition; satisfaction which holds the mind in peace,
restraining complaint, opposition, or further desire, and often implying a moderate
degree of happiness. As a single saint, now is the best time to have all the me
time you want, without having to answer to no one but God, and while celebrating
yourself at the same time.
Personally, I love going to the park early some mornings just to pray and meditate
the Word of God by the lake. I love it when Daddy God whispers sweet nothings
in my ear and tells me He loves me over and over again, and then tells me about the
plans He has for my life. Also, I have no problem going to a restaurant and having
a meal alone while reading the Word, the newspaper, or a book, because I view it as
spending quality time and enjoying time with myself.
If you can’t enjoy your own company, what makes you think someone else will?
God wants us to walk in peace. He sent His Son not only to save us, but so that our
joy might be full (John 15:11).
He wants us to be careful or anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving; He wants us to make our request known unto God
Our request may be for a mate, but once we pray, He wants us to give thanks and
simply leave it in His hands and trust Him. Like the sayings go, He wants us to,
Let go and let God, and Let God do it.
Sure, we can do it ourselves and end up with Bozo instead of Boaz, or Rooftop
instead of Ruth, but if we truly want the mate that He has for us, the Ephesians 3:20
mate who will be more than what we could ever hope for or desire, then He wants us to
simply trust Him.
While God’s working on bringing the manifestation of your mate to pass in His season
for your life (notice I said in His season and not your season), He wants you to be
fully aware of your worth and who you are in Christ, focus on doing His will and
serving Him, and, while you’re waiting, He wants you to become the blessing,
instead of waiting for the blessing.
Ladies, He wants us to become the crown to our husbands -right now. He wants us to
learn how to respect our men by respecting our natural fathers, pastors, and other
male figures in our lives.
He wants us to become that Proverbs 31 woman now, as a single saint, instead of
waiting for the blessing to show up.
Women of God, we must realize that at the same time we’re believing God for a
mate and wanting to be blessed, God has a son, a mighty man of valor He wants to
bless as well.
Can you honestly say that you are that blessing right now?
We must realize now, as single saints, that only Jesus can be the true source
of our joy, and that it is no one else’s job to make us happy. We must realize that
with Him we are never alone. Just because one is married does not mean there won’t
be times of feeling alone, so, as singles, we have to realize now that Jesus is our
We must allow God to be our Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, and not just wait for some
knight in shining armor to come rescue us and cancel out all our debt, or fellas,
wait for a some Sugar Momma to supply all our need.
As single saints, we must seek true fellowship and true intimacy with God, so that
we may know Him, and the power of His resurrection. We must be open and honest and
crawl in Daddy’s lap and let Him know our true feelings, and we must worship Him
simply for who He is in true holiness and in truth. We must learn how to experience
true intimacy with God before we can ever learn how to properly love on, praise,
edify and encourage our future mates.
We must get it right now, as singles, and learn to be content instead of needy,
self-satisfying instead of desperate, and happy instead of anxious and impatient
so that we don’t attract the wrong kind of person into our lives – the kind that
God may not have intended for us to be with in the first place.
Once we practice a daily lifestyle of true contentment, that is when we are
positioned to receive the mate that God has for us.
The mate that God has for you should be an added blessing and an added joy,
not the source of your joy.
If you were an ice cream sundae, then your mate should be the extra cherry.
He shouldn’t be the cherry on top, because that would denote something that is missing,
but he should be another one – to make it taste even sweeter.
A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit www.KimOnTheWeb.com