Have you ever cried out to God like that?
“Lord, where is my mate?!” Have you ever been
mad at God because it seems like He’s blessing
you in every other area except the mate
department? Before you’re so quick to say,
“no,” examine yourself and honestly answer
that question. While you’re answering that
question, ask yourself why you want to get
married so badly?
Is it companionship – physically and emotionally?
Is it because you want someone to ‘help pay these bills’?
Ladies, is it because you need a man to be a father figure
because the ‘baby daddy’ is no where to be found? Is it because
you want someone to buy you nice things, make you laugh, and
make you happy?
Is it because you want someone to call your own?
If you notice, all of the previous responses have one thing in common –
they all involve pleasing oneself.
Me, Me, Me, Me, ME!
However marriage, the way God intended, is all about pleasing the other person.
1 Corinthians 7:32-33 says, But I would have you without carefulness. He that is
unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please
When you get married it’s not all about you anymore . . . it’s all about
that other person you said, “I do” to.
This is why it’s so important for single Christians to get it right, right now, as a
single by maintaining pleasing God as your #1 priority as 1 Cor. 7:32 indicates.
A lot of times, how you remain faithful to God will determine how you will remain
faithful to your future spouse. You remain faithful to God by showing Him you
love Him by keeping His commandments (John 14:15). One of His commandments
is to abstain from sex before marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:1-4). By consistently disobeying
this commandment with an unrepentant heart proves that you are cheating on and being
unfaithful to God – and He’s supposed to be the one you really LOVE!
God has commandments such as, “no sex before marriage,” not because He’s punishing
you, but because He’s protecting you.
He loves you so much that He wants what’s best for you, and He wants to bless you out of
this world – but His hands are tied if you refuse to obey and serve Him.
While as a single Christian your life’s aim should be to please God, your desire, as
a married person should be to please your spouse.
When you marry it proves that God trusts
you enough to take all of that selfless love that you have for Him and for others and
transferring that love to your spouse. Two married people’s aim should be to live each
day living to please and serve one another. Your attitude, when you wake up, married
believer, should be to look at that person next to you, the one God blessed you with,
and say, “What can I do to serve you today?” Besides, that’s what God did for us, when
He sent Jesus to die for us on the cross – and that was the Ultimate act of service.
And in Ephesians 5:25 God compares man’s love for his wife as Christ’s love for the
So I’ve said all this to say, single believer, instead of crying to God about where your
mate is, make sure you are in a position where you are ready to receive your mate, and
that you are fully aware of what it means to be married. A suggestion would be to talk
to a happily married couple, preferably one that’s been married for over five or ten
years, and ask them to share with you some nuggets about how they keep their marriage
strong. Don’t expect them to tell you a whole lot, but hold on to what they are willing
to share. And of course, seek God’s Word ultimately as the final authority on the best
way to please Him and your future mate, because God’s Word contains the answer to
A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit www.KimOnTheWeb.com