One of the wives’ from the married couples I interviewed for the last chapter of my self help book, , made a profound statement when asked what advice would she give to a single woman who is believing God for a mate.
She stated in part (as quoted in the book), “Know who you are in God and how He sees you as valuable and precious and truly internalize that.”
I believe her statement is true and powerful because so many of us Christian women, women who love God with all our hearts and souls, do not truly know our value in Christ, how precious we are to Him, and as a result we don’t know what value we can add to another human being in the form of a future spouse.
A lot of us place our value and self-worth in superficial things such as our careers, our beauty, our bank accounts, or even our complexion or the length of our hair. Others place extreme value on the curves God has graced them with, while feeling as though they can love him “better than she can” just because you have more swagger or your lips, hips, and fingertips are more insatiable than someone else’s.
We sometimes place our value on the superficial, rather than what’s really important.
We must realize that our value comes from above, and because He sees us as valuable and precious in His sight, then we are worth the best treatment and should not settle for second best or second fiddle because He made us wonderfully and fearfully made in His sight (Psalm 139:14)
We, as women, are so precious and valuable to God that He sent His very Son, Jesus, to die for us – God sent a man to shed His blood simply because God had you on His mind and on His heart. Now that’s love!
Not only must we realize how valuable we are to God, we must then come to discover our own personal value and uniqueness we can bring to our future mate.
What internal qualities set you apart from others?
Is it your compassion for the lost? Your desire to feed the hungry? Your patience with people? Your quickness to forgive and your willingness to always repent? Your understanding? Your passion for people? Your kindness? Your meek and quiet spirit even when your flesh wants to retaliate?
What is it about you that makes you uniquely you, and can also add value to someone else?
It is these qualities which must be discovered, tapped into, and activated in our lives which will cause us to be successful at whatever relationship we may have – whether it’s a family member, loved one, friend, or significant other – and it’s also these qualities which will last and help temper every storm, and help be the anchor to help salvage any misunderstanding, as you seek God’s Word and God’s ways in every situation.
Proverbs 31:10 reads, Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The word, price, in this Scripture means worth.
Ladies, date someone who helps bring out the best qualities in you, while at the same time celebrates and appreciates those certain qualities you already possess.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, Temperance, against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25
A refreshing voice for today’s Christian single, Kim Brooks is the Award-winning, National Bestselling author of novel, He's Fine...But is He Saved? its sequel and her latest novel, She That Findeth - an Atria/Simon & Schuster release. As a licensed minister, she is also the author of several self-help books and eBooks including, How To Date and Stay Saved and Singles, Overcome! A former guest columnist for Gospel Today and with appearances on The Word Network and in EBONY Magazine, Kim Brooks shares, through the Word of God, how it is possible to live an exciting, purpose-driven, drama-free abstinent until marriage lifestyle in the perfect will of God. Subscribe to her free daily devotional for singles, which reaches thousands globally, and for more information about her books and booking visit www.KimOnTheWeb.com